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Featured: Interviewing My Husband About My Mental Illness

Discussion in 'Personal' started by Lee, Jul 9, 2016.

  1. Lee

    Lee Administrator
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    Good little blog post from the perspective of a loved one when dealing with mental illness

    Mental illness is not just a personal illness. It can affect the people around you too, in ways you may not realise. Your mind can tell you that the people closest to you don't understand or won't like you anymore. So I wanted to interview my husband and find out how he feels about my mental illness so far. As you can see he's quite a sweetheart but you can also see how it affected him and how this huge strain on the both of us hasn't ruined anything at all...

    Since my first breakdown have I changed in anyway?
    Yes. You can put yourself down and at first you was just like a zombie. You can still get like that and down but it was more intense then and I had to remind myself you were ill with how you spoke to me. I struggled when you could treat me like crap and I know I argued back, but I knew you were ill and it wasn't you.

    Am I still the same now?
    No, you're a little bit like that sometimes and still put yourself down. You're anxious but I think those things might always be there. You're more happier though and not like a zombie anymore. I've got my wife back now.

    What's been the hardest thing since I was diagnosed?
    Standing here doing nothing. It didn't feel like I could do anything. I felt the same as when my Uncle Steve passed away.

    What are you most proud of that you've done to help me?
    Patience! But I'm not proud of me because if I've done anything good then it's because you're my wife. I don't need a pat on the back. I married you for better or for worse.I'm proud of you for your blog and making people more aware. I've seen people confide in you and talk to you about their problems.

    Have you learn't anything new about mental illness?
    Yes. The strongest of people can get it, it can happen to anyone. I think there's that many people that don't know about mental health and I didn't have a clue. It taught me it's not just feeling down then taking some pills for it. Things might be stupid to me and stressful, like when you keep checking the door is locked but now it's passed onto me because you worry so much about it. I learn't that's your anxiety and depression makes you feel weak and not able to do anything, it's not just feeling down. I thought tablets would make you instantly better but they don't. I knew it was a big thing but not how big.

    Has it changed the way you feel about me?
    No. It's been hard but even though you were depressed you still had your personality deep down and still made me smile.

    What advice would you give to loved ones of someone with a mental illness?
    Try and get them as much help as possible and be there for them. Give them cuddles. There'll be times where you feel sick of them but be patient. Try and speak to other people for yourself and them too. They'll need to speak to someone who's been in the same situation because if you haven't had a mental illness you won't ever understand it properly.

    Has anything good come from my mental illness?
    I understand more about the illness and you've explained a few signs for me to look out for. When something like this happens it tests your relationship to see if you're strong enough to look after each other. We passed.

    Not Just Depressed: Interviewing My Husband About My Mental Illness
     
  2. BritCat33

    BritCat33 New Member

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    This is very telling and I think it will help people see they are not alone in it. The waiting and wondering seems to be the hardest part for most.
     
  3. blukitty

    blukitty New Member

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    I agree, this well done. In my case, both my husband and I have mental illnesses which makes life REAL interesting, in both good and bad ways.
     
    2 people like this.
  4. blukitty

    blukitty New Member

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    I agree, this well done. In my case, both my husband and I have mental illnesses which makes life REAL interesting, in both good and bad ways.
     
  5. Shelly

    Shelly New Member

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    It took a while but my partner started to understand that it wasn't about him...
    He kept accusing me of seeing someone else because I wasn't as loving as I was before..
    It took time to not take my anger or meltdowns personally, it wasn't anything he had done although his reactions exasperated the issue...
    It took many discussions, lots of tears, many quiet walks and I had to do lots of reassuring but it hit home in the end...
    The hardest thing though, and one that I don't think he ever got his head around, was his frustration at not being able to 'fix' me...
    The guilt stayed with me, although he was my rock and I did all I could to make him happy.
    Right until the end, I kicked myself for allowing my depression to affect him...
     

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