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  • Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 11:55 PM.
    Well, where do i start. I've still got that niggling pain in my head that wont go away. I've had it a week now. I don't know if you are like me and always imagine the worse case scenario but i think I've convinced myself I've had a mini stroke. Obviously as an ambulance man I know all the...
  • 24-07
    2017
     
    Kerrie
    Blog: Kerrie's blog. By Kerrie at 6:36 PM.
    why is it when you have people around you but you are made to feel sooooo alone? Or you talk to people but you feel they are only half listening. People who I talk to are becoming distant maybe I'm just being a bit to full on. Oh well onwards and upwards I guess :emoji_smirk:
  • Lee
    Blog: Lee's blog. By Lee at 7:49 AM.
    It is with a heavy heart that I am writing this blog. Yesterday, we lost one of music true greats. RIP Chester Bennington. You showed me music which spoke to me on so many levels. Your music has resonated within me throughout my entire life. You changed the way I lived my life, changed the...
  • 19-07
    2017
     
    Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 1:14 AM.
    Just reposting this so our new members can read it !! Trigger Warning !! - My first day !! Trigger Warning !! Im Agricola, ive suffered with Depression anxiety Ptsd and now suffer from Recurrent depressive disorder. im a new member. Im an ambulance man, this is an account of my first job. I...
  • 17-07
    2017
     
    Lee
    Blog: Lee's blog. By Lee at 9:09 AM.
    Does anybody else get this? Feels like I have to fight a fog to get out of bed on a Monday morning, because I really do not want to go to work. The atmosphere is horrendous. Everything is always so awkward. Not sure what to do about it to be honest. Shame really, because I used to like my job...
  • 16-07
    2017
     
    Lee
    Blog: Lee's blog. By Lee at 10:27 PM.
    I have started to go to the gym in a feeble attempt at fitness All that is happened is I am now tired all the time I ache I wan't to sleep I feel like I could sleep and not wake up for a month A byproduct of my tiredness is disassociation. Very strange in the gym when you feel like the...
  • 14-07
    2017
     
    Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 9:23 PM.
    Mmmmmm today is an odd one, Im quite low and a bit anxious Depression 4, anxiety 5 out of 10. There is a reason for this, yesterday I did something that has been described as heroic, this has made me embaressed and the event has left me with the inevitable stress reaction . The event made social...
  • 14-07
    2017
     
    Kerrie
    Blog: Kerrie's blog. By Kerrie at 8:19 PM.
    everything I say today I say wrong according to him everything I do is wrong I'm sick off always being told I'm wrong, I'm struggling today but think it's because I'm tired, I'm not coping as well with it as I normally would!!
  • Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 2:24 AM.
    I think that nationally the mental health services are under massive strain and there are just not the resources to deal with it, I know that if i had someone to come round just once per week for half an hour to chat, that would sort out about 70 percent of my issues just doing that. but there...
  • 10-07
    2017
     
    Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 10:58 PM.
    it seems that the times you want to quickly get through stuff online is the time that your computer decides not to want to play, that happened to me when i started this conversation, i was trying to access an online learning course that i need for the organisation im part of. It took 40 mnutes...
  • 10-07
    2017
     
    Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 10:17 PM.
    I'm melting in this heat, my clock thermometer is reading 27.8 degrees C and its 9,45pm where i am. The temperature is just ridiculous and as I live at the top of the building all the heat rises to my flat and just doesn't go anywhere. I'm considering purchasing a fan for the flat. The...
  • Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 9:21 PM.
    Well , where do I begin? A lot has happend since we last talked. My daughter has been to the university open day and has since returned to us. She had a wonderful time and loved her time staying at Nanny and Grandads. They also enjoyed her staying but have all remarked as to the fact that she...
  • 22-06
    2017
     
    Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 12:59 AM.
    Today it was hot, really hot, we are going through a heat wave, and today it spilled over briefly into my head. Don't get me wrong, today has been a good day for me. I was up early and went to take my son to youth offenders meeting. 6 bus journeys, then we went to KFC for his favourite meal and...
  • 13-06
    2017
     
    Agricola
    Blog: Agricola's blog. By Agricola at 1:08 AM.
    Its been a while since i wrote anything on the blog page so i thought id better organise my thoughts and put fingers to the keyboard. A lots happened in the last month or so. My moods have been more stable than they have been in a while although im a bit low at the moment, not unhappy, just...
  • Lee
    Blog: Lee's blog. By Lee at 8:43 AM.
    Long story short, my Grandad is in hospital. We don't get on. We haven't for at least 15 years. I won't go in to the back story as it is neither interesting nor pleasant. I got a telephone call of my mother the week before last telling me that he was ill in hospital. His kidneys had shut...
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