If you’re here because urges come and go, you’re not alone in that. For many people, the urge isn’t about wanting to die — it’s about needing the feeling to stop, or needing something to cut through numbness.
Different things help different people. What works once might not work next time. That’s normal.
Below are options people often try. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to try all of them. Sometimes having a few ideas ready makes a hard moment a little less overwhelming.
Things that create sensation without injury
Some people need something physical to interrupt what’s happening inside.
Holding ice in your hand.
Running cold water over your wrists or face.
Snapping a hair tie on your wrist.
Strong smells like menthol, eucalyptus, or vinegar.
These can create a sharp sensation without breaking skin. For some, that’s enough to ground them until the urge passes.
Things that release tension
Urges often come with a lot of built-up energy.
Tearing paper or cardboard.
Punching a pillow or mattress.
Doing wall push-ups or holding a plank briefly.
Squeezing a stress ball or putty until your hands tire.
The goal isn’t to punish your body — it’s to let some of that pressure move through it.
Things that slow everything down
Sometimes the urge feeds on speed.
Breathing slowly, even if it feels pointless at first.
Putting on music and focusing on one instrument or sound.
Wrapping up in a blanket and sitting somewhere quiet.
Watching something familiar you’ve already seen.
You don’t have to feel calm. You’re just creating a pause.
Things that redirect focus
This works best when the urge is loud but not overwhelming.
Writing exactly what you want to do — without acting on it.
Texting someone about something unrelated.
Doing a simple, repetitive task like washing up or sorting items.
Playing a game that needs attention, even briefly.
Distraction isn’t avoidance here. It’s buying time.
Things that let feelings out safely
For some people, the urge is about expression.
Writing a note you don’t send.
Drawing lines where you want to hurt, without harming yourself.
Scribbling hard with a pen or pencil.
Talking out loud, even if no one is there.
You don’t need to be eloquent. You just need a way for it to come out.
Things that help after the urge eases
When the intensity drops, even slightly, it can help to do something kind for yourself.
A hot drink.
A shower.
Changing into clean clothes.
Lying down somewhere comfortable.
This isn’t a reward. It’s care.
A few important things to say honestly
Not every alternative will work for you.
Some will work once and not again.
Needing alternatives doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Urges rise and fall. Even when they feel endless, they do change.
If urges are frequent or getting stronger, extra support can really help. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost control — it means you’re dealing with something heavy.
If you need to talk to someone right now
If you’re in the UK:
• Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7)
• NHS 111 – press 2 for urgent mental health support
• Text SHOUT to 85258 for confidential text support
If you’re elsewhere, local crisis lines and mental health services are available in many countries.
You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to be sure. You’re allowed to ask for help.
Different things help different people. What works once might not work next time. That’s normal.
Below are options people often try. You don’t have to like them. You don’t have to try all of them. Sometimes having a few ideas ready makes a hard moment a little less overwhelming.
Things that create sensation without injury
Some people need something physical to interrupt what’s happening inside.
Holding ice in your hand.
Running cold water over your wrists or face.
Snapping a hair tie on your wrist.
Strong smells like menthol, eucalyptus, or vinegar.
These can create a sharp sensation without breaking skin. For some, that’s enough to ground them until the urge passes.
Things that release tension
Urges often come with a lot of built-up energy.
Tearing paper or cardboard.
Punching a pillow or mattress.
Doing wall push-ups or holding a plank briefly.
Squeezing a stress ball or putty until your hands tire.
The goal isn’t to punish your body — it’s to let some of that pressure move through it.
Things that slow everything down
Sometimes the urge feeds on speed.
Breathing slowly, even if it feels pointless at first.
Putting on music and focusing on one instrument or sound.
Wrapping up in a blanket and sitting somewhere quiet.
Watching something familiar you’ve already seen.
You don’t have to feel calm. You’re just creating a pause.
Things that redirect focus
This works best when the urge is loud but not overwhelming.
Writing exactly what you want to do — without acting on it.
Texting someone about something unrelated.
Doing a simple, repetitive task like washing up or sorting items.
Playing a game that needs attention, even briefly.
Distraction isn’t avoidance here. It’s buying time.
Things that let feelings out safely
For some people, the urge is about expression.
Writing a note you don’t send.
Drawing lines where you want to hurt, without harming yourself.
Scribbling hard with a pen or pencil.
Talking out loud, even if no one is there.
You don’t need to be eloquent. You just need a way for it to come out.
Things that help after the urge eases
When the intensity drops, even slightly, it can help to do something kind for yourself.
A hot drink.
A shower.
Changing into clean clothes.
Lying down somewhere comfortable.
This isn’t a reward. It’s care.
A few important things to say honestly
Not every alternative will work for you.
Some will work once and not again.
Needing alternatives doesn’t mean you’re failing.
Urges rise and fall. Even when they feel endless, they do change.
If urges are frequent or getting stronger, extra support can really help. That doesn’t mean you’ve lost control — it means you’re dealing with something heavy.
If you need to talk to someone right now
If you’re in the UK:
• Samaritans – 116 123 (24/7)
• NHS 111 – press 2 for urgent mental health support
• Text SHOUT to 85258 for confidential text support
If you’re elsewhere, local crisis lines and mental health services are available in many countries.
You don’t have to explain everything. You don’t have to be sure. You’re allowed to ask for help.
