Dealing with the loss of my Grandma

[Lee]

I miss my grandma more than I know what to do with.

It didn’t hit me at the funeral. I thought I was coping. I got through it, spoke to people, did what you’re meant to do. Then weeks later it just slammed into me out of nowhere. Like my body realised before my head did.

Since then it’s been constant. Not crying all the time, just this heavy pull that won’t leave me alone. I think about her more than I say out loud. Little things. Random memories. Stuff that shouldn’t hurt this much but does.

I keep going to her grave. Over and over. I don’t even always know why. I just feel like I need to be there. It’s the only place where it feels real and quiet at the same time. I sit there and feel close to her and empty all at once.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing this wrong. If I’m supposed to stop going. If people would think it’s too much. But it helps, even when it hurts. Especially then.

 

[PGen98]

There's no right or wrong way to grieve, and no one can tell you how to do it. If you feel comfort being at her grave and spending time there, do so! It's about finding your way to cope in the here and now while you come to terms with a loss in your life. We all grieve differently and you are doing it how you need to do it. You will know when you are ready to move to the next stage, but for now this is what you need and that is ok!

Know that it is ok and you have people you can reach out to anytime! ❤️